I’ve always had a passion for writing and romance, or let’s put it this way: I adore the emotional manipulation a story can cause. It’s remarkable how the exact combination of words can suck you right into the scene, almost like you’re living it yourself. I’ve the biggest respect for writers who can make you lose your mind with a simple, short sentence in the middle of a huge piece of text. For example, I absolutely adore this sentence: “It was so silent, it was like listening to continuous, unbroken screaming.” When you read, you have to read more than just the words which you see. You have to read with your eyes closed sometimes or read between the lines, try to let your feelings talk to discover the true meaning of a sentence or even a word. How can you know if the writer means ‘blue’ when he writes ‘blue’, and not ‘black’ or ‘violet’? That’s the nicest part of your imagination. You create your own concept because you FEEL in a certain way, and there’s no one there to tell you “no you shouldn’t see it like that.” You’re your own boss; you’ve your own mind. Own opinions. When you read something, you’ve always parts which immediately catch your attention and give you a certain feeling, or touch you, sometimes it can be pure melancholy. I think this is the best way to express yourself without being judged. Maybe you can provoke with words, but after all no one can forbid you to write them.
Fave parts.
"It was the first time I’d seen him since i said that i wouldn’t see him anymore, and I meant to stick to my guns and send him off without a word, and I just couldn’t. Seeing him again just reminded me how badly I wanted him, so I sort of…did. It was the weirdest thing too, because he was inches from being gone, out of my life again, and suddenly it was like every impulse I had decided that common sense was wrong and made me drag him back to me. I’ve never wanted anyone that much before."
“So you ran.” Angela said softly, resuming her soft petting of the boy’s hair.
“As far and as fast as I possibly could.”
-Escort.
“Is it better to not try?” He asked in all seriousness, just wanting his brother to think about it a little longer. “Is it better to just watch him leave, knowing you didn’t try to keep him?”
-Effervescent.
“Why does everyone want to take you from me?”
-Effervescent.
“And I don’t think I can sleep without you. I’ve grown so accustom to feeling you next to me when we sleep and, I just don’t think I can manage it alone. You know when you’re so dependent on someone that even the idea of losing them makes you incapable of the things you can do when they’re there? That’s like me right now. I feel completely unable to do anything and the truth is, I’m not doing much of anything right now anyway. I’m sitting in a fucking closet.”
-Effervescent.
“I love you too. God, does love always have to hurt so fucking badly?”
“Only when it’s a love worth fighting for.” The boy whispered before he caught the other’s lips with his own and gave him one of the gentlest, most delicate kisses he’d ever given him before.
-Effervescent.
“Keep me.” He whispered so only the other boy could hear. “Please?”
-Effervescent.
Both boys felt their hearts completely shatter in one another’s chest.
-Effervescent.
"I love you, and I’ve been miserable without you.”
-Fall in Paris.
“Broken, hurt.”
“Okay, well sometimes that pain can manifest itself somewhere on our person and it’s an unbearable feeling to have.”
-Fall in Paris.
He felt numb. He felt so numb that it actually hurt.
-Fall in Paris.
He hadn’t slept that night but he cried and when he had no more tears to cry he would scream. He would scream at the top of his lungs until he had no more voice.
-Fall in Paris.
Like an empty shell, a body without a soul just walking around. He looked at himself in the mirror but couldn’t see anything. It was as if he had ceased to exist.
-Fall in Paris.
"I get why you’re pissed…”
“I’m not pissed, you know? I was never pissed. I’m furious and heartbroken.”
-Fall in Paris.
"You can’t think that just because you happen to help me mend back the heart that you broke, doesn’t make you a bad guy anymore. You’re the worst person ever.”
-Fall in Paris
Still, emotional attachment can be fun. After I fuck a person, I leave them and forget about them. The ones who get attached are the best when I do this. Screaming, crying, accusations, and feelings of betrayal are common. Not only is this entertaining, but I also know it means they’ll be thinking about me for a long time to come. The high I get from that can last me for days, even weeks if I know they were really crazy about me.
Sounds sadistic and arrogant? Well maybe it is. I know that I’m arrogant. I’m not so sure about sadistic. I don’t get excited about the fact that I’m hurting people. I get excited by the fact that someone is so obsessed with me that me dropping them actually causes them emotional pain. That’s not sadistic, right?
See, I’m not a slut. I’m an attention whore, haha.
-Seduce me, resist me.
This time, there would be no refusal, no change of heart, no pulling away. No escape.
-Seduce me, resist me.
He wished his heart would stop beating, just so it wouldn’t hurt anymore. His head hurt, his stomach roiled, his veins were on fire and he couldn’t stop trembling. But the physical was nothing compared to the emotional. He had never been in such pain before.
-Seduce me, resist me.
The boy made an exasperated sound. “You don’t understand me at all. While I admit that the sex is a definite bonus, that’s not what I wanted from you.”
“Then what was it that you wanted? You confuse me.”
“To watch you break. To watch you shatter. To watch you tear yourself apart over me.” The boy leaned forward, his eyes wide, his grin maniacal. “Now do you get it? Why I never touched you when you were sleeping? Why I refused to fuck you when you were drunk? I needed your consent, and your awareness, so I could crush you so completely that I knew you would never forget about me.”
-Seduce me, resist me.
"I don’t mind, baby. Kill me. Kiss me. Love me. Hate me. No matter what you do, you’ll never be able to forget me. Never.”
-Seduce me, resist me.
" 'Honesty’ to you means only lying until telling the truth will hurt more.”
-Seduce me, resist me.
In all honesty, I’ve never really faced rejection before. What would it feel like to be broken like that? Would it kill me? Like, would I literally die?
-Seduce me, resist me.
"You are the key to the final challenge to break: myself. I knew you had what I needed. I love you, okay? Destroy me without mercy."
-Seduce me, resist me.
He pulled the boy even closer, locking their lips together. “I’m determined to defy you. Determined to make you hate me. Determined to have you break me. Because the only reason I have nothing to lose, is that I already plan to lose everything.”
-Seduce me, resist me.
DO.
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